when feeling anxious or troubled, here’s what my safe place looks like.

i want to share my safe place and list of things i do to find my peace and i also want to offer resources to help you work through your feelings.

may is mental health awareness month.

i am thinking about all the postpartum moms i know and the ones i haven’t met yet. i am making a list of suggested activities that help when i am stressed, anxious, worried, and can’t think clearly in the mental/emotional fog.

this week, i watched Year One, an award-winning documentary film about her first year of motherhood. erin bagwell is an open, honest, and talented brooklyn filmmaker. she’s a great mom and she has postpartum depression. it is a beautiful story, unhurried, and full of great conversation about things that helped her through the process. in the film, she was great at sharing her thoughts and feelings with her partner, even when it was hard. joining a mom’s group and hearing other mom’s stories helped her feel more normal and not so alone. watch the 31 minute movie if you can.

here are other helpful resources when dealing with anxiety and/or depression. included below that are my safe places for processing big feelings.

local resources first:

postpartum support virginia – call the warm line and talk to a volunteer. 703-829-7152

southwest va postpartum support group– join in a weekly call with other moms.

huddle up moms – a community resource to connect moms with local resources

call your medical provider –a counselor, doctor, midwife, pediatrician – and talk about baby blues, mood changes, anxiety, postpartum depression.

learn to recognize the differences in baby blues, normal hormone fluctuations after birth, and mood changes verses postpartum depression, anxiety disorders.

give yourself permission to ask for help and allow the feelings to surface instead of bottling them up.

my safe place.

i go searching for my safe place when i feel my inner peace disturbed. when i feel troubled or anxious. when i need to process unexpected news like a diagnosis, or a miscarriage, or a parent’s death, or a job loss or motherhood is just plain hard.

i think about my physical needs first: am i exhausted?  have i eaten recently? what is true and what am i imagining in my reaction? i take a deep breath and breathe calmly. i may take a nap. i drink water.  i eat something nourishing. i process what has upset me. i let myself feel the feelings. i like to let the emotions move through me. it took years for me to accomplish this. putting a lid on my emotions and stuffing them down to carry on as usual was my first response. no more. it’s not good for me.

my safe place looks like a solitary car ride.

with the windows down, music up, and no destination in mind, i can sing at the top of my lungs, yell, scream, cry my eyes out, breathe deeply or all of the above.  just the ease of a sunday drive at a leisurely pace in the quiet of the day works wonders for my weary soul.

my safe place looks like my favorite spot.

in the woods near our home, i have my  camping chair set up beside a large pile of  stacked wood ready for the fire pit.  i can think clearly here.

my safe place looks like a walk in nature.

i take a brisk walk if i am angry or a leisurely stroll if i am really thinking hard about something. i live close to the cascade falls and also pandapas pond if i want to leave my situation and think alone. this is also a good time to bring a friend along if they are able to get away.

my safe place involves water.

i head to the shower when i am in a hurry and need to cry loudly. the water muffles my cries.  or i take  a long, calming, restful soak in my huge bathtub weeping quietly. i let the tears flow. i think it’s part of my penley clan family heritage.

 my safe place looks like calling a friend.

when something is troubling me i call one of my good friends. i reach out to them when i need to verbally process something.  you know, those life-long friends that listen objectively and tell me straight up what is true in the middle of my emotional mess when i can’t see clearly. i have a few friends that will do this for me anytime day or night if needed.

i don’t want someone blowing smoke up my skirt just to make me feel better.  i need truth in my storm.  i need fresh eyes and ears to hear my perspective with kindness and help me find my way and sort things out.

my safe place looks like a time for creating.

i take my camera, pencils and paper, and go looking for an adventure. i leave the world behind and get lost in creating something beautiful to balance out the hard circumstances at home.

my safe place includes music.

i like to let the emotions move through me  and music helps soothe my soul. sometimes i listen to instrumental peaceful music to calm me and when i need my thoughts and environment quiet. other times, the music is loud and i make myself move around waving my arms while yelling at the top of my lungs. at times, it’s fun just to have a party by myself and dance it out.

my safe place involves meditation and prayer.

listening to a soothing voice speak words of life and Biblical truth over me is healing and calming. there are many youtube meditations i enjoy but Graham Cooke talking about God’s outrageous love for me is a favorite. i get comfortable and soak in those beautiful words taking them to heart. talking to the Lord about a situation is usually my first choice of action and has the best outcome. sometimes it takes me awhile to get to this place!

my safe place sometimes means a change of scenery.

i may have to get out of my house to think clearly. i may meet that good friend for coffee or a walk or lunch at a place where we can talk.  i may need a face to face meeting away from the chaos.

my safe place has also been on a counselor’s couch.

i take the opportunity to talk with a professional counselor as often as necessary for me to process things happening my life. i think it is healthy and a responsible way that i take care of me.

we all have times that we need a listening ear from a friend.

your safe place- what does it look like?

leave comments and let me know your thoughts about your safe place. i would love it.

i have also written post about bonding with your baby. ~laura