recalling details to remember the moments of birth using the gift of my five senses.

recalling the birth of my third child, i used that technique to bring the event back to my mind. i wanted to see every detail in my imagination like it had just happened.  if you are wondering how long i have waited to do this, it has been 36 years and i am just now getting around to it….  he just became a dad and i thought it was about time his birth story was written down. he has heard the story many times, just not in written form.

i used my five senses (see, hear, touch, taste, smell) to help me remember as many details as i could to better re-create my birth story that happened years ago.  i gathered all my memorabilia from the hospital: the baby hat, a blanket he used, the baby bracelet,  and photos from that day to help me with my writing assignment.

recalling these senses: see, hear, touch, taste, smell

i found a comfy place to sit undisturbed, grabbed a cup of fresh hot coffee, my journal and a pencil.  i spoke to all my senses to awaken, to be present and alert.  i quieted my wandering mind and focused on the day of his birth.  i wrote down my thoughts and described the images I saw and i will go back and sort it out later.  i wanted to get it all down on paper first. i will blog the finished birth story as part 2 of this personal assignment.

i divided my birth day into three parts:  (1) before birth, (2) the birth,  and (3) after birth. I used my senses in each area to recall the details of my experience.

what did i see?

before the birth

the clock on the bedside table in big red numbers 2:30am

a bed soaked from my water breaking. thank goodness for the waterproof covering.  it made changing the bed easier for the babysitter coming to sleep over.

the hospital travel bag was empty.

i saw a very messy bedroom and no idea where my clothes were in that huge clothes pile in the corner.

i remembered wearing my winter coat that would not button. i sat on my knees, facing backwards, holding onto the back of the seat.

it was a clear, starry night. no traffic and the speedometer said we were flying.

i did not see any flashing blue lights, but i expected to.

 the birth

i saw my labor and delivery nurse friends whom i worked with at the emergency room entrance with a wheelchair ready to take me up to the birthing unit.

the huge smile on the face of my doctor who just happened to be on duty or he would have missed the entire birth!

the  birthing unit hall was dimly lit because it was in the middle of the night, somewhere around 2:50am. 

my room was brightly lit with a neatly made bed with turned down sheets ready for me to climb into.

the baby warmer was turned up and ready when needed.  that red glow was the only noticeable color in the room.

i had no time to change clothes except to take my pants off and climb on to the bed.

i heard the baby monitor on my belly reassure everyone that we were all fine, just moving quickly.

 i saw my own flushed cheeks in the mirror and disheveled, messy bed hair and a happy glow i could not deny.

after the birth

i watched the baby come out and it was born with a flattened nose and a bruised face: black and blue because of his quick descent through the birth canal.

i observed my husband cut the cord. his large hands cradled our newborn baby as he held him up and examined him before laying him on my chest.  his smile went from ear to ear.

i saw my beautiful baby with the bruised face look at me as i looked at him.

i saw him effortlessly figure out how to breastfeed.

what did i hear?

before birth

i was jolted awake from a sound sleep after hearing a loud pop. yep, my water had broken.

during my wheelchair ride to my labor room, the unit was completely filled with expectant moms in different stages of labor.  it was loud and alive with the sounds of birth: some pushing, others groaning, and one couple walking the halls.  i heard nurses talking quietly outside one room close to me.

my husband was out of breath from the crazy fast drive to get to the hospital and the excitement of seeing this new baby very soon.

the birth

i had two nurses talking to me instructing me to quickly get out of the chair and onto the bed or whatever birth position i was choosing.  “hurry and do not delay”, they said. people were moving quickly and quietly around the room preparing for imminent delivery. 

i heard the doctor ask my husband if he wanted to deliver the baby and of course he did.  he had delivered the other two with the doctor’s help.

i heard myself groan so that everyone on the unit could hear me, and then the baby was out and he cried just a little to let me know he had heard me call him out and into my arms!  haha.

the husband assisted with the speedy delivery, the second contraction after arrival to the unit, and placed him on my chest. 

after birth

i heard peaceful , regular breathing from the baby and also from the exhausted, sleeping husband right beside us.

what did i feel/ touch?

before birth

thinking about my pregnancy, i loved the feel of my super round belly, only noticeable from the front and side.  from the back, i looked like my normal size self, but it was a different story from the side.

i rubbed that belly a lot. often, i put my hands on that round baby when he was moving around in there. husband, swifty, kissed that baby belly all the time.

 strangers were especially fond of touching my pregnant belly and i am still not sure what i thought about that! back away.  haha.   placing my hand on the belly felt like a way for me to connect with him.  i would talk to him about everything. I would share my dreams for his life, sing my favorite songs, read aloud everything i was reading: textbooks, children’s storybooks, my bible reading for the day, recipes for the new meal i was trying.  that baby heard my voice a lot and he still does…

on that birth day, i was awakened from a deep sleep only to realize that i was sitting a pool-sized puddle of clear wetness in the middle of the night.

the birth

the wheelchair ride to my room was fast and furious and cold and uncomfortable. When I was finally in my hospital bed, no one touched me or rubbed my belly or my feet and i was so glad about that. i was in the zone working hard and i wanted no distractions.

i was curled on my side and my husband was standing sideways close beside me.  somehow, i had his leather belt pressed to my lips, while still in the belt loops of his jeans. the coolness was soothing, refreshing, and calming to me and it kept my mouth shut from saying how i really felt!

it was cool in the room and the baby warmer was all lit up and warming if needed.

i felt that next contraction, which was only the second one since i had arrived on the birthing unit, and i knew it was the one that would bring the baby down and out. i was aware of my rapid breathing and my desire to scream with intense pressure that was not stopping. instead of screaming, i braced myself to gently bear/bare down and give steady, quick pushes at the doctor’s urging.  it took all my concentration and strength to guide the baby out. slowly and all at once, my baby was born. sure enough, at the doctor’s offer for my husband to lean in and catch his third baby, i felt my husband’s hands support my perineum area as the baby emerged and slid out onto the bed.

the warm blanket placed over the baby and myself was divine after delivery. i had the shakes for about an hour. my entire body shook from the fast paced delivery.

i felt wet tears streaming down my face when that slippery baby boy was placed into my arms and i covered him in kisses: his face, his head, his hands, and his feet. he had been dried off a little at that point by the nurses.

after the thorough examination of my lady bits by the doctor, i was relieved when he stated that there was no need for sutures.

after birth

shaky legs and a slight trickle blood running down my legs made for a quick first shower after delivery.

what did i taste?

before birth

i do remember being thirsty but there was no time to sip a drop of water.  i didn’t take any medications.  i was not nauseated, but i was so hungry.

birth

my tongue tasted the sweat on my upper lip from the hard work my body was doing because birthing a baby is a superpower.

after birth

refreshing cold water after birth tasted like i was drinking from a cold mountain spring.

we stayed a few more hours at the hospital, and stopped at burger king on the way home because all i wanted to eat was a grilled hamburger.  haha.  at that moment, it was the best hamburger ever!

what did i smell?

before birth

realizing my water had broken, i bent down to sniff the sheets to see if there was a smell of urine.  nope, i had not wet the bed, but my water had broken.

birth

the hard work of labor made my arm pits sticky with sweat and i had no fresh deodorant. i don’t remember if i brushed my teeth before leaving for the hospital. i probably had stinky feet after taking off my shoes and socks.  the smells of birth included sweat, pee, poop, blood, placenta. am i forgetting anything?

after birth

that newborn baby smell could last forever if i had anything to say about it. recalling this detail of birth was my favorite detail to remember again.

my first shower after birth felt like being pampered at a fancy spa. i used my eucalyptus shower gel for everything and sprayed warm water at the birth area.  those lady bits were too tender to touch except with water.

final thoughts about recalling the details of birth

using my five senses helped me to recall so much information from that night my third baby was born.  now, i will take those notes and finalize writing his birth story, but this process helped me remember so many details of my delivery. i have written my daughter’s birth story and it is a doozy. read it here.

if recalling the details of your birth feels traumatic, find someone to talk to. i would suggest the postpartum support virginia as a great place to begin. postpartum support virginia warm line 703-829-7152

about grammie doula:

i offer in-person and virtual postpartum doula support in middle tennessee and my clients call me “grammie doula”.  i have 25 years as a labor and delivery nurse and then 10 years as a birth photographer.i am a mom to 3 grown children, 6 grandchildren and a baby in heaven. i live in a cabin in the woods with my gray-bearded husband and two pets that prefer his company over mine! ~laura